My Toddler is Cooler Than Your Toddler

With the advent of technology and the whole "civilization" thing, I no longer have to spend the day hunting to put dinner on the table.  The upside of this arrangement is not getting eaten by a lion.  The downside is that our food is often hyper-processed, with nutrition losing to convenience nine times out of ten.  I've always said that I'm an equal opportunity eater, and I believe that there's a time and a place to eat shit, but I would be very happy if my children didn't make the same mistakes I made, sentencing them to a life wrought with self-consciouness and ill-fitting pants.

Whether or not it's a lucky break, I'm thankful that we're off to a good start.  This past Sunday after our first trip to Elevation Burger (patties needed salt but they might have Five Guys beat in the fry department), I made an Indian-spiced salmon topped with a yogurt sauce, and Toddler Gastro smiled after her first bite and asked for more.  She also ate her broccoli.  This kid rules, and the whole experience was made even better by the fact that it was super easy to cook, so processed foods can suck it.  Buen provecho.

Lemonade out of Lemons: Pathmark's Lobster Special

Betting that the blowout sale was primarily a function of the Memorial Day mass exodus and not because they were poisonous, I scooped up three lobsters at $5.99 per pound and upped the fancy ante for Mrs. Gastro and the Gastro-in-laws this past weekend.  It was my first time grilling lobsters, which is somewhat labor intensive, and consequently requires more sobriety than usual at 4pm on a holiday Sunday.  I overcooked the claws (might be a good idea to snap them off before grilling), but the butter-basted tails were resplendent. The crowd agreed that it felt like being down the shore, even though we were nowhere near it.*  Four days later, there have been no complaints about getting sick, so the bet paid off, and I can now add grilled lobsters to my wheelhouse, although I'll probably wait until the next lobster fire sale to do it again. Buen provecho.

Grilled Lobster, adapted (mostly stolen) from Kim Knox Beckius
How ever many lobsters you want to cook (I made three 1-1 1/4# chickens)
3 tbsp butter
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp lemon zest
Granulated garlic, salt, and pepper to taste

Bring a stockpot full of salted water to boil. Drop the lobsters in, two at a time, and boil for 5-7 minutes. Remove from water and let cool.  Meanwhile, melt butter and combine with lemon juice, zest, and granulated garlic, salt, and pepper. When lobsters are no longer too hot to handle (nor too cold to hold), use a chef's knife to split the lobsters in half. The easiest way to do so is to stab between the eyes and then rotate the knife down and into the rest of the body. Rinse out the tomalley, pat the halves dry, and baste the tails with the lemon-garlic butter. Place the prepared halves on a heated grill, shell-side down, for another 8-10 minutes, or until meat is white and opaque. Serve with the rest of the lemon-garlic butter, grilled corn on the cob, and whatever else you fancy. We had potato salad and some ridiculous skillet macaroni and cheese. Save the shells to make stock, use the stock to make risotto, extend the fancy bender.

*Conversation may not have occurred

TGIFAHTTTIICC

Or, Thank Gaga It's Friday And Honest Tom's Taco Truck Is In Center City. If you think that's a mouthful, wait 'til you get a load of the tacos themselves. Typically reserved for Dragons, Quakers, and the staff that cater to those punk kids in West Philadelphia, Honest Tom's is using the spring break hiatus to bring the truth to Center City. Foobooz says that the truck says (not the actual truck, because talking trucks only exist in the land of make believe) there's a possibility of coming to Center City every Friday and that location suggestions are welcome.  I would be perfectly happy if they stayed put at 18th and Vine, where they are right now, serving up delicately cooked fish tacos topped with a pineapple salsa.  And if you need something to wash them down, they've got cold brewed Stumptown iced coffee by the jugful.  An infinitely better choice than the shrimp taco disaster of last week.  Buen provecho.

Why Did I Eat This?

The Butterfly Effect was a really stupid movie. On the contrary, the concept of one event being able to change the outcome of your situation is fascinating. Case in point, the haircut lady I normally go to quit/was fired from the place in Suburban Station, so instead of switching up my look from a fat Justin Bieber to something a little more grown up/professional, the time spent doing so was immediately reallocated to tracking down Taco Bell's latest offering, the Pacific Shrimp taco. Suspending all better judgment in the name of "Why Did I Eat This?", here's a rundown of what surprisingly didn't suck as much as I thought it would (but still sucked pretty bad):

1. The shrimp, which I imagine (hope) comes pre-cooked, were not texturally offputting, and they had a decent kick to them.
2. The sauce, a thinned out mayonnaise with flecks of dehydrated herbs, was bland, and most of it leaked out after a few bites.
3. Three bucks for one taco makes me feel better about the quality of the shrimp, but it also makes me feel stupid for spending three bucks on a single item at Taco Bell.
4. The rest of the composition was standard issue yellowish brown lettuce, mealy tomatoes, and a damaged tortilla to hold it all together.
5.  I didn't eat the thing too long ago, so the possibility of getting really sick from eating shellfish at Taco Bell is still very real and very frightening.

As the impending doom digests, I leave you with this: if you must partake in the unholy union that is seafood and fast food, do yourself a favor and stick with a Filet-o-Fish.  Buen provecho.

Fish and Tripps

As far as I'm concerned, the best fish and chips (and surprisingly, fried chicken) reside at McDonagh's in Galway, but this sounds like a close second, newspaper and all. Buen provecho:

Home is Where the Heart Is

I have to agree with the rest of the food bloggers that spending 2/14 at a restaurant is best left to those who need help in the romance department. I prefer to spend it without pants and in the kitchen. For me, love is best expressed with food, and not by a silk rose purchased at a gas station counter.

The menu:

Spicy tuna hand roll

Miso Glazed Sea Bass

Flourless chocolate cake

Wine pairing: Domaine Michel Cheveau 2006

With limited time to get home from work, get the supplies, and get cooking, I went ahead and let Hana make the hand rolls (for a little cliche factor, you can arrange the hand rolls on a plate to make a heart shape), and I let Provence en Boite make the flourless chocolate cake.

The bass itself was a breeze. The glaze is a combination of light yellow miso, soy sauce, mirin, and sake. Coat the fish, chill it for an hour, then broil it for 6-8 minutes. I served this on top of yukon gold potatoes whipped with butter and greek yogurt. Finally, I added some color to the dish with a ring of seaweed salad and toasted sesame seeds. You have no idea, but if you want to come over for dinner, I'll gladly make it again.

The end result? A very happy valentine. We got to eat her favorite things from start to finish, and everything I needed for the meal was within a 5 block radius. The sea bass came from Fish Tales, where the fishmonger was happy to place a special order for me. The wine and sake came from Smith & Vine, and the Beaujolais pairing was spot on. And as mentioned above, two local restaurants were also happy to lend a hand. Sometimes, it takes a village. Buen provecho.