Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Why Did I Eat This?

"There's a burrito in my quesadilla." - Taco Bell Wrapper

Behold, Taco Bell's version of a stuffed crust pizza. Originally something found on Chipotle's secret menu, Taco Bell did what any self-resepecting corporation would do with such a great idea: rip it off and market the shit out of it.

With little willpower and only a salad for lunch, I was an easy mark for the Quesarito, a burrito with a quesadilla shell. Sadly, the addition of said quesadilla is not accretive. Apart from the (also ripped off from Chipotle) cilantro-lime rice and a spicy mayo-based sauce, it tasted like your standard beef burrito, just with the added calories of an extra tortilla. For $2.80, you're better off getting a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with a Doritos shell. Buen provecho.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Chef Spike's Good Stuff Eatery Opens, Nobody Seems to Give a Shit

No lines out the door. No lines inside. Not that there was any real hype to begin with. According to Foobooz, Spike was there on Tuesday when the place opened, but after the requisite Scott Schroeder selfie...

Photo Credit: Scott Charles Schroeder, People's Champ
He seems to have split. Not that I was interested in meeting the dude. It would have probably been awkward considering my opinion of him is less than favorable (TV makes you hate people). Instead, I'll continue to hide in the tall grass of the internet and serve up this quick photo series of the newly opened Good Stuff Eatery. My early troll's opinion is that although it's a blatant Shake Shack ripoff, it's not bad. I would caution against shitting on "Cheese Whiz," however. Buen Provecho.

This sign is stupid and anger-inducing.

Good Stuff might have it in the fry department.

Despite my hatred for Evangelos Mendelsohn (Spike's gubment name), the Good Stuff Melt was pretty delicious.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Super Easy Coconut Curry Chicken Recipe

Last night I set Instagram ablaze with this recipe (20 likes!), but rather than float the recipe into the sea of comments (6 total including mine!), I figured you could get to it much easier if I posted here. I used chicken breasts, but any protein will do (a meaty fish like turbot works very well). If you do make it, constructive criticism/regular criticism is welcome in the comments. Buen provecho.

Easy Ass Coconut Curry Chicken
1.5 to 2 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 tbsp vegetable oil
1/2 cup onion, diced
1 tbsp red curry paste
1 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup light coconut milk
2 tbsp lime juice
5 scallions, green parts only, sliced
Roughly chopped cilantro, about 1/2 cup
Salt and pepper to taste

Heat oil in your biggest skillet on high. While the pan heats, cube the chicken and add to pan when oil shimmers. Toss in some salt and pepper, brown the chicken, then remove from pan. Add onions and cook until translucent or slightly browned, then add curry paste and cook until fragrant. Stir in chicken stock, coconut milk, and cooked chicken, then let the broth cook down until desired consistency. Remove from heat, stir in lime juice, scallions, and cilantro. Add more salt and pepper to taste. Serve over steamed spinach if your metabolism runs at a snail's pace and you're sentenced to a miserable life of not eating carbohydrates. Otherwise, serve over a bed of delicious basmati rice.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

You Have Four More Days to Try the Carbonara Burger

Impossible to photograph and nearly as hard to eat, the Marc Vetri x Shake Shack collaboration burger is definitely worth the mess. And if you get there early like I did, you probably won't need to stand in a record-breaking line to eat it. It's one thing to have patience when you're not hungry. But if you haven't eaten since breakfast? Fuck that shit.

The burger (Patty La La patty, peppery over-easy egg, bacon, and pecorino cheese) is a mere $6.75, and a dollar of that goes to The Vetri Foundation, so if you were too poor to attend last night's Great Chefs Event, this is a great way to contribute before it gets taken off the menu on June 16th. Plus, the burger is ridiculously good. Buen provecho.

Friday, May 30, 2014

ICYDFMOT (In Case You Don't Follow Me On Twitter), Here's Some Terrible Photoshops for Your Friday

In light of the recent news that culinary bad boy Guy Fieri is wasting someone else's money on a steakhouse that will probably fail within two months of opening, I started thinking about an alternate universe where Philly chefs donned the denim chef coat and bleached spikes and kame up with some kewl koncepts. Then I tweeted a bunch of terrible photoshops called "Philly Chefs in a Denim Chef's Coat with Guy Fieri Hair." Now I'm taking it a step further and presenting some highlights in the series with each chef's money menu item since it's Friday and you need a distraction from your soul-crushing job. Buen Provecho.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Big In Munich Cancels June 2nd Show

Channeling Miley Cyrus, part-time rockstars and full-time chefs Jeremy Nolen and Ben Puchowitz have canceled next Tuesday's Philly Beer Week show. Their Facebook page cites unfortunate circumstances, so we're all hopeful that the Summer hiatus isn't anything too serious, but this is some shit news for sure, and definitely more disappointing than the time I went to the Fat Ham for lunch and it was closed. At least there's a bajillion PBW events where we can drown our sorrows. Buen provecho.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Free Japanese Burrito Day at Hai Street Kitchen & Co

Thanks to Michael Klein, much of Center City got wind of a free Japanese burrito promotion happening at Hai St Kitchen & Co today, a new concept from one of Morimoto's sous chefs that first debuted in London (because America wasn't quite ready). I can count myself among the jackasses that subjected themselves to a two-plus hour wait to try what was essentially an enormous maki roll, something that would set you back eight bucks and most likely a shorter wait on a normal day. Part of it was curiosity, and part of it was, "Hey! Free food!" And although I'm not much for lines (because we get everything instantly because we live in the future), I have to admit that it was actually worth the wait. I'm curious to know if others felt the same way, because this was all I saw when I looked behind me:

But enough about the social dynamics of subjecting people to long wait times to get free shit. Let's discuss the Japanese burrito. I had plenty of time to go over the menu, but I was pretty set with a Signature Roll Combination called "The Crunch" from the time I decided to wait it out. To keep things moving, ordering and preparation follows Chipotle's assembly line concept. It all starts with a magic machine called a Maki Master that cranks out square tiles of sushi rice, providing Hai Street's version of a tortilla. Next, you pick proteins, vegetables, and sauces, all of which are overstuffed into the roll. This is what differentiates it from normal sushi. The roll is literally burrito-sized (and only cut into two pieces):

Empty Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee cup shown for scale. That's only half the roll.
Inside this monstrosity was shrimp tempura, spicy mayo, romaine lettuce, cucumber, pickled mango, and asparagus. Since it's mostly made-to-order, everything tasted fresh. The tempura had a nice crunch, the rice was well-cooked, and the spicy mayo was balanced nicely with the cucumber and mango's brightness. Oh yeah, and it was free (if you don't count the opportunity cost of waiting). I could probably take down more than one in a sitting, but this was a good start. It will definitely be a welcome addition to the lunch options in Center City. Buen provecho.