Benihana: The Rose Colored Tint of Childhood Memories

The requisite Onion Volcano. Dave nailed it.

Remember how cool Benihana was when you were a kid? Remember coming home with a Polaroid of you and the family destined for a few months' tenure on the fridge, the smell of griddled meats and garlic butter glued to your clothes, and you practicing your knife skills with whatever dull objects happened to be within arm's reach?

No? Well then, your childhood must have been awful. Or maybe you didn't grow up near a Benihana. Either way, I'm here to let you know that as an adult, it's sadly not quite the same. Not that you shouldn't check it out, but if you do, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Pay the extra money for the Hibachi Chicken Rice. This is the undisputed champ of Benihana's menu, primarily because the rice is fried in gobs of garlic butter and doused with soy sauce.

2. Interact with your chef. If you stare at the guy cooking your food like you would a caged animal at the zoo, he'll be sad like a caged animal at the zoo. Give him some props for nailing the Onion Volcano or an "It's cool, bro, Mondays." if he fucks up the Shrimp Tail Toss.

3. If your kid chugs their Dragon Juice too quickly, DO NOT order them a second, unless you want to spend the latter half of your meal trying to keep them from doing a belly flop on the hibachi while your steak/shrimp/chicken gets cold.

4. Always tell them it's your birthday or that of someone in your party. You'll get a free dessert and a pretty terrible picture.

5. Be friendly to fellow diners. If you've got less that eight people in your group, It's rare you'll be the only ones at the table. Don't make it awkward by avoiding eye contact and not drinking. If you're at the receiving end, make sure and talk a bunch of shit on the way home. Those wieners deserve it.

6. If the Sugar Hill Gang shows up, definitely get a picture with them (happened once in New York City, I swear).

Follow these tips and tricks and your first/next visit to Benihana will be a good one. Man, what a terrible post. Buen provecho.

Free Japanese Burrito Day at Hai Street Kitchen & Co

Thanks to Michael Klein, much of Center City got wind of a free Japanese burrito promotion happening at Hai St Kitchen & Co today, a new concept from one of Morimoto's sous chefs that first debuted in London (because America wasn't quite ready). I can count myself among the jackasses that subjected themselves to a two-plus hour wait to try what was essentially an enormous maki roll, something that would set you back eight bucks and most likely a shorter wait on a normal day. Part of it was curiosity, and part of it was, "Hey! Free food!" And although I'm not much for lines (because we get everything instantly because we live in the future), I have to admit that it was actually worth the wait. I'm curious to know if others felt the same way, because this was all I saw when I looked behind me:

But enough about the social dynamics of subjecting people to long wait times to get free shit. Let's discuss the Japanese burrito. I had plenty of time to go over the menu, but I was pretty set with a Signature Roll Combination called "The Crunch" from the time I decided to wait it out. To keep things moving, ordering and preparation follows Chipotle's assembly line concept. It all starts with a magic machine called a Maki Master that cranks out square tiles of sushi rice, providing Hai Street's version of a tortilla. Next, you pick proteins, vegetables, and sauces, all of which are overstuffed into the roll. This is what differentiates it from normal sushi. The roll is literally burrito-sized (and only cut into two pieces):

Empty Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee cup shown for scale. That's only half the roll.

Inside this monstrosity was shrimp tempura, spicy mayo, romaine lettuce, cucumber, pickled mango, and asparagus. Since it's mostly made-to-order, everything tasted fresh. The tempura had a nice crunch, the rice was well-cooked, and the spicy mayo was balanced nicely with the cucumber and mango's brightness. Oh yeah, and it was free (if you don't count the opportunity cost of waiting). I could probably take down more than one in a sitting, but this was a good start. It will definitely be a welcome addition to the lunch options in Center City. Buen provecho.

Field Trip: Yakitori Totto

 Mrs. Gastro and I are in week two of our throwback diet (no carbohydrates).  At this point, hunger has turned into hanger, and we would give pretty much anything for a pancake or two.  There have been some bright spots (most of them involving steak in a cream sauce), but overall, this diet is for freaks, which I suppose makes us freaks.  Getting to the point of all this, a quick trip to New York City could have unraveled the whole thing, but a dear friend of mine came up with the perfect solution: yakitori.  It's how the Japanese do churrascaria, a much more delicate and intimate experience that I'm assuming can be attributed to the fact that samurai swords are just way too sharp to be carrying meats around a crowded dining room.  Instead, your meats and organs show up on wood skewers, all of which are ordered a la carte.

 

There are too many skewers to mention, but rest assured, we ate everything there is to eat that a chicken has to offer, plus a few vegetables to health it up.  The experience was great, but if you're not careful, your appetite for charcoal-kissed chunks of chicken can really add up.  No matter, it was great to catch up with my NYC crew, even if I left the joint reeking of a Japanese backyard BBQ (I have no idea what that means).  If you find yourself in Midtown Manhattan during a throwback diet, I highly recommend waiting for a table here.  Buen provecho.

We scored our skewers from Yakitori Totto, located on the second floor of 251 West 55th Street. We had what felt like unlimited skewers, shochu, sake, and sapporo for $90 including tip.  Like I said, it can really add up if you don't watch it, but watching it is really no fun, so expect to spend some money here.  Also, expect to wait if you have a party larger than two.  The place is really small.

Give Me a Break

Sometimes I'll while away the days being remarkably unremarkable. Please take advantage of this brief service interruption to check out Hamburger Calculus' magnum opus on Kit Kat bars. It will send your brain into diabetic shock (that's a good thing). The grapefruit sports drink Kit Kat is the hands-down winner in the "would only try it on a bet" category. Buen provecho.

*image stolen from hamburgercalculus.com

Sapporo Me Another One

The continuation of the caloric onslaught that marks my final days in NYC led me to Go last night, normally a late night beer fueled glutton fest, but this time for dinner a little earlier on. After multiple beers with an old boss and a gallery opening curated by a professional sailor, what better way to end the night than with a plate of octopus balls and dynamite yaki (okonomiyaki with kimchi), and of course some more goddamn beers? Here's what I've learned after multiple visits, including this, the final one:

1. The sushi here sucks, so don't get it. You're better off eating poison straight from the box. In fact, you should only order from the laminated menu with the grill specials. That means octopus balls, any of the pancake options, and fish sausage stuffed with cheese.

2. They're only open at night, but they're open late. I would say that the later you go, the better the food tastes.

3. Drowning whatever's in front of you in mayonnaise is always a good (delicious) idea.

4. The service is pretty crappy, but I probably wouldn't give a shit either if I was serving some drunk round-eye.

5. I'm hung over.

Buen Provecho.

Home is Where the Heart Is

I have to agree with the rest of the food bloggers that spending 2/14 at a restaurant is best left to those who need help in the romance department. I prefer to spend it without pants and in the kitchen. For me, love is best expressed with food, and not by a silk rose purchased at a gas station counter.

The menu:

Spicy tuna hand roll

Miso Glazed Sea Bass

Flourless chocolate cake

Wine pairing: Domaine Michel Cheveau 2006

With limited time to get home from work, get the supplies, and get cooking, I went ahead and let Hana make the hand rolls (for a little cliche factor, you can arrange the hand rolls on a plate to make a heart shape), and I let Provence en Boite make the flourless chocolate cake.

The bass itself was a breeze. The glaze is a combination of light yellow miso, soy sauce, mirin, and sake. Coat the fish, chill it for an hour, then broil it for 6-8 minutes. I served this on top of yukon gold potatoes whipped with butter and greek yogurt. Finally, I added some color to the dish with a ring of seaweed salad and toasted sesame seeds. You have no idea, but if you want to come over for dinner, I'll gladly make it again.

The end result? A very happy valentine. We got to eat her favorite things from start to finish, and everything I needed for the meal was within a 5 block radius. The sea bass came from Fish Tales, where the fishmonger was happy to place a special order for me. The wine and sake came from Smith & Vine, and the Beaujolais pairing was spot on. And as mentioned above, two local restaurants were also happy to lend a hand. Sometimes, it takes a village. Buen provecho.