Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Easiest Paella Recipe Ever

Until I realized that being Mexican is actually super awesome*, I would lie and say I was Spanish.  Not that being Spanish made you any less of an outsider in Utah, but bullfighting was definitely more acceptable than low riders (it's a footrace regarding which one is cooler).  I suppose it's not a total lie, but the details on my ancestry are foggy, and that commercial where the white people open up a laptop and have their entire family history after a few clicks is bullshit.  What does it all mean?  Nothing, really.  It's just a roundabout way to introduce you to the easiest paella recipe ever made.  Step-by-step photo instructions after the jump.

Paella Muy Facil
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1. Extend a long overdue invitation to what now could be considered old friends.
2. Set up the outdoor stove used for frying last Thanksgiving's turkey.  Watch guests sear chicken thighs.

3. Enlist your almost-three year-old daughter to debeard a few mussels and behead a few shrimp.

4. Pretend you know how to make a good Bloody Mary (and go hide in the kitchen) while your guests add shrimp stock to a pan full of chicken thighs, seafood, and arroz de Calasparra.

5. Watch them boil down cup after cup of shrimp stock, then watch as they methodically arrange the myriad components of the dish.

6. Enjoy the results with a fine glass of Spanish wine tall boy of Narragansett Light.

 The next step in the process, obtain a giant paella pan to throw a monster paella party, is currently in the works.  Buen provecho.

*While awesome from an action movie perspective, I do not condone the drug wars and corruption that is currently being witnessed in parts of Mexico today.  Being Mexican is actually awesome because of things like pork tacos and luchadores.

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