Thursday, March 29, 2012

Making a Good Idea Great: The Cheesy Dorito Crunch

Continuing my slight obsession with Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Tacos, I took the obvious next step of having the taco artists put one inside a Cheesy Gordita Crunch.  The results?  Remember Matt Levin's super poutine at Adsum?  It broke the fucking mold.  Plus, the gordita shell keeps your fingers squeaky clean.  It was well worth the extra 30 cents that they charge to combine the two.  Buen provecho.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Field Trip: Crown Burgers in Salt Lake City, Utah

A snowboarding trip to Utah isn't complete without a stop at Crown Burgers.  Their eponymous burger is a thing of beauty.  After sitting on an open flame until charred in all the right places, it's topped with a slice of yellow American cheese, a half-pound of griddled pastrami, shredded lettuce, tomato, and fry sauce (mayo folded into ketchup).  Served with French fries whose shape and thickness would be the result of a steak fry and a McDonald's fry having fry babies, I was tempted to order three more in case it took me another three years to get back to Salt Lake (and three days after returning home, I feel like a jackass that I didn't). Buen provecho.

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Why Did I Eat This?

Are we certain that we should be eating these colors?
I'm going to skip the formalities and get straight to the point.  Leave work now and find your nearest Taco Bell so you too can try this brilliant combination of Doritos and dog food-grade meat that is a marriage more perfect than Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman.  A few quick pros and cons about the experience:

Pro: It's your standard Taco Bell taco, but the shell is caked in nacho cheese powder.  There is some expectation of how it's going to taste, but nothing can prepare you for how well it goes with the taco fillings.
Con: The wet beef makes the "hinge" of the shell soggy.  If you've ever been at the beach or on the lake when some jackass forgets to close the bag of Doritos, then you know what I'm talking about.  In my case, it was just a jackass food blogger (me) taking too many pictures.

Pro: Since there is a finite amount of shell, your Dorito intake is limited by the amount of tacos you can eat instead of speed eating an entire bag of (Family Size) chips in one sitting.
Con: Powdered cheese fingers.  Although it's 2012, scientists have yet to figure out a way around this clothes-ruining nuisance (I just now realized that I could have used the cardboard sleeve to avoid this. Fuck).

Pro: $1.69 for the Supreme version.
Con: The low price guarantees that the next time I go, I'll order a dozen of them, and since I hate wasting food, I'll have to eat the entire lot.

One final note about this taco.  I'll typically go through ten packets of Fire sauce (on two tacos) with any Taco Bell meal.  I think that's standard operating procedure for most of you, but take heed that if you do so, the delicious Doritos flavor will nullified.  Buen provecho.

Launching Today: Doritos Locos Tacos

Keep your browsers tuned to Fidel Gastro today for a very special (and long overdue) entry of Why Did I Eat This?  It's a Dorito.  It's a Taco Supreme.  It's worth falling prey to the nostalgia of Taco Bell and their new "Live Más" marketing campaign, which is ironic considering this shit will kill you. But if it's anything like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters, the reward of combining two hyper-processed pseudo-Mexican products will be worth the risk.  Buen provecho.